The Signs You Are In a Toxic Relationship

Ever thought you were in a toxic relationship?  If it has crossed your mind on more than one occasion, chances are good that you may indeed be involved in an unhealthy relationship. Toxic relationships suck the life right out of you, leaving you drained and second guessing yourself.

While all relationships periodically have their ups and downs, a toxic one is characterized by a pattern of negative behavior that rears its ugly head on a consistent basis.  In fact many women are in denial and make excuses for the obnoxious behavior exhibited by their spouse, boyfriend, or friend.  Conditioned by society, women especially believe they should cialis dosage turn the other cheek, forgive, and tolerate it.

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Sure forgiveness and tolerance are admirable traits. And sure everyone has a bad day here and there. cialis dosage However if there is a regular pattern of questionable behavior that causes you stress and sorrow, odds are you’re in a toxic relationship. Accepting it will likely rob you of your health, peace and vitality.

We are all deserving of healthy relationships, one that supports and nurtures us and has a healthy balance of give and take.

So How Can You Determine If Yours Is a Toxic Relationship? Here are Some Signs:

• Your partner routinely demeans you by putting you down.  It may be subtle or obvious.  It may be in front of others or not. The criticism is not constructive but it’s demeaning and is designed to belittle and put/keep you in your place.

• Your partner exhibits a Jekyll and Hyde personality constantly keeping you off balance and fearful. This pattern is often paired with physical abuse.  One day, moment, your partner is affectionate, the next verbally, physically abusive. It often surfaces suddenly with no provocation on your part, but you’re made to feel at fault.

• Your partner is controlling, jealous, and attempts to isolate you from family and friends.  This is to make you dependent on them for all of your needs.

• You’re reluctant to openly express yourself, be yourself, because you fear your partner’s disapproval or wrath. So you feel you’re walking on eggshells to please them.

• Your partner turns it around on you. They accuse you of the very thing they are doing so to confuse you and put you on the defensive. Consequently you feel obligated to apologize when in truth you did nothing wrong.

• Your partner says one thing and does another. They profess undying love, but can’t be counted on. They are deceitful or disloyal.

• Your partner is self-centered and perhaps narcissistic, and their needs get met often at the expense of yours. They’re not interested in you only what you can do for them.  Conversations are dominated and you are to be seen and not heard.

• You spend all of your time coping, and are on a roller coaster of emotions. You’re drained of energy and your self-esteem is negatively affected.

Okay this list contains some of the worst behaviors that people deal with when in toxic relationships. What it really comes down to is any person whose behavior consistently diminishes you and makes you feel bad is an unhealthy one.

You may be asking yourself how anyone could end up in a toxic relationship. Why would anyone tolerate it?

It is the pattern that keeps people trapped. There is a honeymoon phase where everything is wonderful. This is followed by the offensive-diminishing behavior. Then the reconciliation takes place often laden with false promises that the toxic behavior will never happen again.

Also because people are on their best behavior when first getting together with others, you may not have seen it coming.  Because you’re already emotionally involved, it becomes difficult to untangle yourself and get out.

And if you share a long history with this person, you may feel the need to continue even though you know they make you feel lousy more often than not.

People in toxic relationships also may have grown up with abuse and so it is “normal” to them. They may believe they are undeserving of happiness and suffer from depression.

You must realize you have a choice, and you can choose to stand up for yourself. If you have been involved for any length of time, your partner may have convinced you that you’re a failure and nobody wants you.  Don’t buy into this. You have to value yourself and take responsibility for your own happiness.

It may be difficult to end the relationship, but if your partner refuses to eliminate the behavior, you may need to part ways.

The flip side is your partner may choose to take responsibility and change. Depending on the issues involved, therapy may be required to help you both understand the roles you played.  If an honest attempt is made by both parties, the relationship could heal. Most relationships can be salvaged, but both partners must be willing to do the work.  Keep in mind you teach others how to treat you. If there are any sincere feelings between the two of you, and depending on the type of issues you have, it may be well worth your while to do the work to restore and heal your partnership to a happy-whole relationship.  You don’t have to put up with a toxic relationship. Choose wisely and keep the faith.

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