Frequently what truly makes a relationship a success aren’t the first things that come to mind. As an example, do you believe you should continually be looking to spice things up? If you do, you are mistaken. Although a dash of spice is certainly good, a sense of solid predictability is a lot more important than variety when it comes to building trust in your relationship.
The following seven techniques are sure to strengthen your connection with your mate because they increase the level of trust and enhance the relationship.
First, as stated above, you have to be predictable. Although this goes against the common concept you need to stir things up to keep the love alive. Certainly taking your mate to the newest restaurant in town or surprising them with a hot concert ticket can be sweet, but the majority of times we need consistency to make our relations work. In a long term relationship, we need to know our partner can be counted on when the chips are down. Consider that trust in a relationship is founded on being reliable on a day to day basis.
Next, you want to take care that your words consistently match the message. In other words troubles arise when your partner picks up on a discrepancy from what is being verbalized and the body language displayed. So you say you are happy, but at the same time your partner is detecting a frown. This causes confusion especially so if your mate calls you on it and you insist that all is well. Also know that your partner will discount your words when the body language does not agree. Facial expression and one’s tone accounts for most of how we perceive each other rather than the actual spoken word. So to conclude, whenever words match the message, trust in a relationship is built.
Third, you have to believe in your partner’s ability to handle life’s challenges and this includes your being truthful even when difficult. This is a necessary component to enable open communication and to foster trust. When communicated in a loving manner, the truth although painful at times, is rarely destructive. If you have reservations about your mate’s competency, and you feel the need to withhold the truth, especially if this is more the norm than not, then trust will be seriously compromised and the relationship will eventually breakdown.
Fourth, secrets undermine the relationship, so don’t keep them. This goes with being truthful. Strive for honesty and openness as much as possible. Sooner or later secrets have a way of surfacing, and whether confronted by your mate or not, it will lead your partner to suspect that there may be more that they can’t trust about you, so it’s not worth it. Aside from that they require energy to keep, energy that is better spent on building a positive bond.
Fifth, another important action to build trust in a relationship is to be forthright about expressing your needs and expectations to your partner. None of us are mind readers, so you have to let your mate know your likes and dislikes. A healthy relationship requires give and take, and in order for that to effectively happen you should articulate your needs otherwise your partner may assume you are happy when indeed you’re not.
Sixth don’t be afraid to say no to a request if that’s how you feel. Although you want to strive to meet your partner’s needs to please them, you also need to respect yourself and be true to yourself. If you always say yes you risk being taken for granted and risk losing your own identity not to mention being considered a push over. So yes, to build trust in your relationship, learn to say no.
Last but not least, continue to be open to new growth. To build trust in your relationship, sometimes pain and discomfort are experienced especially when difficult issues are addressed. However it is far better to face up to the challenges because they become the springboard for future growth, happiness and satisfaction. After all when you think about it, pursuing any good purpose in life requires braving the obstacles, and you and your partner are certainly worth it.
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